In an age where “toxic positivity” is so prevalent in our social media algorithms and television shows, there is much to unpack about the negative effects it carries in our daily lives. There is much more to be said beyond, “just love yourself,” and “just be happy.”
Unfortunately, the veil of toxic positivity has clouded many well-intentioned practices that do serve a benefit to our thinking. One of the affected practices is positive self-affirmations, also known as positive self-talk.
The Problem with Telling Others “Just Be Happy”
Toxic positivity holds this demand to ascertain a certain goal to always be happy and perfect. Due to that, methods of self-care and self-help have gotten lost in the noise. Although it might be viewed through a negative mindset, positive self-affirmations can be largely misunderstood. What if, instead, we are encouraged to see our thoughts in a different way without adding the pressure to drive us to any goal?
Toxic Positivity in Social Media
In the HBO drama Euphoria, we find Kat being inundated with condescending encouragement from self-help gurus and influencers chanting to just, “love yourself” in the second episode of season 2.
Overwrought with the forced advice, Kat responds with, “But that’s what I’m trying to tell you: I fucking hate myself!”
This begs the question: How can one realistically cut through the noise of toxic positivity and make (if wanted) efforts for change?
Positive Self-Talk and Your Brain’s Plasticity
Positive affirmations, if followed through with proper methods, should not be tied in with toxic positivity. The difference lies in intentions and the benefits that can be reaped from positive affirmations. One of the key benefits of positive self-talk includes the positive behavioral changes it has on the brain’s neuroplasticity.
Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist, Kendra Cherry defines neuroplasticity as, “the brain’s ability to change and adapt as a result of experience.” Basically, the brain is able to recognize new pathways that can result in change.
In a 2019 study conducted by neuroscientist Paul R. Albert, he finds that “By harnessing corrective neuroplasticity, it may be possible to reprogram the maladaptive behavior and produce long-lasting remission.” This study suggests that maladaptive behavior can be reduced through controlled efforts and experiences by correcting the brain’s plasticity.
According to Claire Johnson, M.D. the brain’s ability to adapt indicates that individual thoughts are capable of forming the brain’s structure and therefore, influencing the perspective of our lives.
Individual thoughts, such as positive affirmations hold power in restructuring our brain on a deeper level. That speaking to ourselves in a positive, yet also concise and intentional way allows space for positive change in our personal outlook.
Lead with Intention and Navigate Resources
Shifting from a mindset of labeling our thoughts as good or bad and instead, viewing our thoughts as neutral and not indicators of our personal character, allows room to create a stronger foundation with yourself.
Apps such as Headspace and Self-Pause offer courses and guides focused on meditation and positive self-talk. This doesn’t mean seeing our thoughts and labeling them as “good” or “bad,” but simply labeling them as just thoughts.
Remember that the intention of positive self-talk doesn’t have to be about reaching perfection and always being happy. It can instead allow us the opportunity to see our thoughts from a different perspective of where it’s currently at and approach it with kinder curiosity.
What if it was possible to see and greet ourselves with patience and gentleness?
Mary
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